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Debra Bourne's avatar

Thank god you can write Kate. I mean, really write. You invite us into emotional spaces, that hopefully most of us won't ever have to endure. And your skill makes them painfully enlightening. Jackofest (from my subjective take), was a stroke of grieving genius. A truly superwoman effort, only equal in scale (and exhaustion, maybe in delivery), to the size of tragic loss of your equally beautiful, talented son. I genuinely hope that you take moments to fully appreciate yourself in all of this and the heartbreaking navigation through, what must seem, on certain days, like the emotional impossible. I can continue to send you love, strength and respect, from afar.

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Kathryn Flett's avatar

Ah… thanks very much, Deb. Hugely appreciated.

I have to say that everything I write around this subject comes very easily to me and is, therefore, effectively a *collaboration*. It helps to have a 40 year-old skillset, of course, but the drive to express it comes entirely from my relationship with Jackson. Just because he’s not here… just because he’s a different energy… doesn’t mean that that relationship isn’t *live*

You’ll be down with this idea - many others (quite reasonably!) won’t be… ;) xx

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Jane Harris's avatar

Jackofest was a very special way to honour your Jackson whilst making new memories. I’m sorry you also found that grief changes your address book ….. I remember having this conversation with you….. however it can also introduce us to some special new additions to that self same book. Hope this is the case for you. Thanks for sharing. Thinking of you at this tough time of the year.

Jane www.thegoodgriefproject.co.uk

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Kathryn Flett's avatar

Thank you, Jane.

Yes, I'm VERY glad I put on JackoFest... I was absolutely delighted we managed to raise a few quid for The Good Grief Project and The Compassionate Friends, however it WAS extremely hard work; I don't think begging people for money is part of my skill-set; I had naively assumed that a lot of people would want to come along on the day... however, I feel as though I hard-sold every single ticket and therefore took every unsold ticket as a personally snub because it felt like a rejection of Jackson, too..

All that and we were still 500 people short on the day, even when I was giving tickets away! So... Festival Director is not a title for me going forward—even though it was a very beautiful occasion, suffused with love, and all the artists said they'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'm so sorry that your own circumstances meant you weren't able to share the day with us.

And yes, of course you were one of the first people to warn me about the address book. And you're correct in that (as I hope I pointed out in the 'stack!) plenty of people actively demonstrated their love, too... Many thanks for all your kind words over the past year. My very best to you and the family in 2025. Kate x

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All that Is Solid's avatar

A little further down the road. But have thought of you many times and hoped you can feel it💕💕💕

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All that Is Solid's avatar

You are very welcome. I don’t have the bravery or the words to write as you do. Seeing my own pain so eloquently described makes it just a bit easier to carry, thank you.

I believe that love is a bridge even between life and death. We are on this side for now in my view, until it’s our time to cross. If you ever want to reach out then please get in touch. But in any case look after yourself. I know he’s proud of you ( I don’t know why I felt compelled to say that but I did)💕💕

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Kathryn Flett's avatar

I am glad I've been able to help, even slightly. These days it's pretty much all I'm good for—and indeed why I get up each day; I'm currently working on a book that I hope will explore this much further — and reach those who feel they need it. In the meantime, I wish you strength and send you love. I'm so sorry you have had to go through this, too. Best, K

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Kathryn Flett's avatar

Many thanks for your kind words

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Debra Bourne's avatar

You know me well, Kate..Totally down with this energetic idea..and given Jackson’s love of physics; so very quantum too. Xxx

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Maria McCarthy's avatar

In tears here, as I'm negotiating two years without my brother, and the fallout from dealing with his intestate estate with siblings I no longer speak to. Yes, relationships change, and beliefs, too. Thank you

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Kathryn Flett's avatar

Thank you. Sending much love and strength to you, Maria… Kx

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Wendy Varley's avatar

I love the Spirited Away artwork and the video glimpse of Jackofest, Kathryn. And your wise words, of course. x

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Kathryn Flett's avatar

Thank you so much Wendy. Your kind comments (and re-stacks!) are always greatly appreciated. My best to you for 2025. Kx

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Wendy Varley's avatar

And to you, Kathryn. x

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paul teare's avatar

My experience of grief is that it takes years to fade from roaring misery to nagging ache. It never goes away. Not completely. You just build around the hole. And walk on step by step hoping for a better tomorrow.

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Kathryn Flett's avatar

Thank you for sharing, Paul. Appreciated

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Jan 2
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Kathryn Flett's avatar

Thank you very much, Jo - your comment is greatly appreciated! K

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